Start at the bottom and laugh your way to the top
January 16th, 2012
REVIEW - Nick Kroll: Thank You Very Cool (Stand-up Special)
After seeing Nick Kroll on the League, John Oliver’s New York Stand-up Show and various sitcoms over the years, I had a pretty good idea of what to expect out of his show, as far as the various characters he would be performing.
He opens the show with Bobby Bottleservice, who was a much funnier character than I anticipated. His Jersey/Long Island/Ed Hardy accent is hilarious and the entire opening bit is pretty clever, due to his intentional mispronunciation of words.
He then comes out as himself and opens with some rather broad comedy, with topics such as the DMV, Tupac/Biggie and the airport. The airport bit is extended to cover shopping at the airport and drunk packing, which leads to a hilarious callback. Nick Kroll as Nick Kroll, definitely improves throughout the special, and finishes on a strong note with a debate of cats vs. dogs. He does slip some references in the special that I thought were pretty unique and funny, like The String Cheese Incident and also calling the bartender Sidney Poitier (Played by Brandon Johnson, who was also the DJ in Aziz Ansari’s stand-up special)
Before the finale, the flamboyant Fabrice Fabrice comes out for a short bit too do a spoken word poem that he “freestyles” based on words from the audience. It goes on a little long but it’s still pretty funny. The other character’s, shown off screen (much like in Zach Galifianakis’ special) are El Chupacabra, a latin DJ and an old Jewish man, where he is joined by John Mulaney. These bits are pretty funny and do a solid job of tying together the special.
It’s a very fun special and the hour run time seemed to go by pretty quickly. He’s definitely a very funny guy and I like that he included Chelsea Peretti and Mindy Kaling in the special, too. I’m looking forward to his upcoming sketch show on Comedy Central, and if you have Netflix, I suggest you give this special a shot.
January 14th, 2012
Jimmy Fallon is “Tim Tebowie”
January 13th, 2012
Chris Paul and Robert Randolph throw together impromptu jam in the desert!
January 9th, 2012
I’ve set my laser from stun to kill.
January 7th, 2012
Aziz #KobeSystem
January 6th, 2012
Can I ask you a question? Do you see any animatronic animals in my office having a pizza party?
January 5th, 2012
That night, the party store owner curled up into ball in the corner of his office and shed a single tear. He then remembered one of the boys who came to his shop had one tattooed under his left eye. This prompted a call to his mother, asking her if she thought he was failure.
NICE GOING, ASSHOLES!
2012: The Year of Gotti
New Year’s came out of nowhere, right? It was like just as I was sobering up from Christmas, 2011 decided to quit this bitch and 2012 came and sucker punched me with champagne right in the stomach. Not that I really minded- 2011 lasted forever and honestly, I hated it. It was like I was Simon Cowell and 2011 was my Paula Abdul- bitch followed me everywhere, made no sense and right when I tried to embrace it, it made a new, secret alliance with Nicole Scherswing-whatever. Like after all I did for it!
Anyways, now that it’s 2012, I’ve been getting a lot of reader e-mail asking me whose year 2012 was going to be. Since I incorrectly (or correctly, depending on who you ask) predicted 2011 to be the year of Marinoni, I don’t know why people are asking me but I appreciate the chance to redeem myself especially since I know EXACTLY whose year it’s going to be. And I’m as serious about this as Brandi is about her no-bra policy.
2012 is the year of Victoria Gotti. Yes, you heard it here first- Victoria Gotti will take 2012 and make it her teenage bride and here’s why:
1. She’s starring in Celebrity Apprentice. Not that I usually credit Donald Trump with resurrecting anything but his hairline, but I think this really could be the show that puts my girl back on the map. Victoria is known for her sassy remarks and cut-throat business tactics so her dominating this show is basically inevitable. I mean, bitch was daughter of the most infamous mob boss of all time, she had to have inherited some of those people skills right??
2. She’s starring in Celebrity Apprentice…against her wanna be, Teresa Guidice. Look, after the emergence of Real Housewives of New Jersey, Jersey Shore and Mob Wives, it was only a matter of time before Victoria returned to TV to claim the ground she helped lay. These pro-Italian, mob-mentality shows all have sky-rocketed their stars to fame yet NONE of them paid homage to the queen of all Italian reality shows- Victoria Gotti and Growing Up Gotti! Can I get a WTF? That’s like Ice Loves Coco not paying homage to Strange Love.
3. This Picture:
SO there you have it and I can’t wait. Victoria Gotti was always a hero for me, like right after Mr. Feeny, my mom and dad and Celine Dion so I’m pretty friggin jazzed for 2012. Okay I need to go get a spray tan and beef up my black and white wardrobe to properly ring in the YEAR OF GOTTI. - by (http://dopenessvwackness.tumblr.com/)/https://twitter.com/#!/katertot527
Henry (8) and Sal (10) watching “Marie Antoinette”: talking during the first 30 minutes (@kellyoxford)
- Henry: So what, you just like trade your daughter to another country to stop world war two or something?
- Henry: They’d better not take that pug from the girl from Spider-man. Oh my GOD they did. I hate France.
- Henry: I want a feather pen.
- Sal: They are really heavy and hard to write with. You have to dip them in ink. They leave blotches.
- Henry: You don’t think I know that stuff? I tried to make a feather pen.
- Henry: Is he wearing a wig? Why is a big butt dress supposed to be fancy? Everyone likes big butts. They cannot lie. This is where the song probably came from.
- Henry: Instead of kissing at the wedding they should do the chicken dance.
- Henry: Are there explosions in this?
- Henry: Is everyone going to watch them go to bed? Are they dying? Okay is everyone going to go in their room every night?
- Henry: Uhhh (boob shot)
- Henry: Did they want them to have a kid their first night together?! Um, they kinda have to know each other first. Jeez.
- Henry: I can’t wait to go to France and eat pastries.
- Me: They’re just like the ones at the patisserie.
- Henry: No. They’re better. Mom, it’s Paris.
- Henry: Do they have to make a baby here at some point? God, that would be annoying. This prince is a weirdo. He makes keys.
- Sal: Why is the King with that girl? That’s not the queen? Ew!
- Henry: What about that pug?
- Henry: They said the princess is fooling around, but the prince is never sleeping with her.
- Henry: Don’t walk behind that huge dress! Peacock! CA-CAWWW!!
- January 4th, 2012
Over under children’s lives scarred from seeing a floppy dick: 9
